diary message 4

Dear Niall,                                   at my moms.

 

I didn’t Wright you yesterday, but nothing special happened.

Today was hard.  At school we first had this horrible history test and I forget my biology books, so the teacher wasn’t really happy.  A few lessons later, we talked for no reason, about teen pregnancy.  We made this little joke my best friend was pregnant and some people did believe haha. But back to the talk. I said: I can’t imagine being pregnant this age,  that is too hard to deal with. Then some boy said: your body couldn’t handle a pregnancy either. And I was like why, why , why? ‘ you have to be tall for a pregnancy. I was like ‘u I’m 1.67 that’s normal.’ ‘ yeah, but you got to give milk, allot of milk’ he meant I have tiny breast., I know  their  aren’t big, or something but it hurts when somebody says it and starts  laughing after that. So I didn’t feel  really great after that. At home It just was to much. I got an emotional break down. i was just crying and crying and crying and I felt so bad.  So my sister putted on one direction , normal I get really happy of it, but today it maked me cried harder because I live in Narnia and I will never meet you guys and you don’t come to Holland soon.   My problems in the past came also nocking at the door today. So it was a bad day today.  Even tough I feel a bit better  im still feeling sad.

I love niall.

Iloveu

Xx me

diary message 3

Dear Niall,                                         at my moms.

Today I finally went back to my mom. Away from her. And back to my one direction bedroom♥  at my dads, there is nothing of one direction in my bedroom, cause SHE thinks that’s ugly. WHO THE HELL THINKS YOU GUYS ARE UGLY?  She is so stupid. But about the day. I woke up at my dads, but happy me she was still sleeping. But 1 second before I left there was she again. I went up fast because I almost forget something. So when I came down, she was there, she was looking at me and said, ‘YOU ALWAYS FORGET YOUR STUFF.’ And that was the only thing she said to me 2 day, My dad drove me to school.  School was pretty okay today but I got a bad mark for science and  I didn’t make my German home work , so the teachers were mad, and I got extra homework. But Rosalie turned 16 today, so we had a little party in class, which was fun. In break me and my directioner sister ( one of my best friends) listen to ONE DIRECTION and looked at pictures of ONE DIRECTION at my phone.

When I came home I tripped over something in my room and my  water was flying in 2  the room. It was all over the room and over my bed.  After  I cleaned that, I did my ( extra)home work. And now I’m writing this. This day sound really normal, but it was a bit sad. Because today is Louis charity football, this may sound as something great but not if you live in Narnia, like I do. I have to ‘enjoy’ the pictures and other peoples nice stories and tweets.  I HATE LIVE IN NARNIA. I hope one direction will come 2 holland soon. Cause every time my British ‘friends’ ( never meet them in person) go to something great I cry and I cry and I cry my ass off because I really wanted to be there 2.

So Niall, would you please come to Holland soon?

I love you

Xx me

diary message 2

Dear Niall,                           At my dads.

 

Today I woke up early because of this weird noise. It sounded like there was a door going open en closed very hard, but everyone was still asleep. GOHST HOUSE. BRR.

It was too early to get up, so I putted on my headphone and I started to listen music. ONE DIRECTION of course.  At 10 o’clock we finally had breakfast, I was so hungry, but there was she. Everyday I try to like her or at least, not hate her.  My dad has made croissants, I really like that so I started eating immediately and then it started.  ‘Don’t eat so gross’. ‘ I always eat like that’. ‘yeah mom I eat like that 2’my stepsister  said. ‘yeah, but she is doing it gross’ and she pointed at me. ‘I’m sorry ‘ .  A  few minutes later  I was talking to my stepsister  about something ‘and..’ I said but I couldn’t finish my sentence cause she interrupt me. ‘ YOU’VE GOT YOUR ELLBOW ON TABLE.’ She shouted at me. ‘im sorry’ I said again. When we finish breakfast my stepsister and my sister said ‘ we go upstairs’ and they did.  I stood up also and said ‘ I go upstairs’ ‘NO YOU DON’T’. I was looking at her and said ‘ yes I am.’ She looked really mad and said ‘ NO, you are going to clean the kitchen’ ‘but they went upstairs to play.’ ‘yeah and you don’t, you are going 2 clean. ‘ when I finish cleaning I went upstairs and listen to music, dance a little, Wright some stories  just regular stuff. Then she shouted upstairs ‘go dress yourself ‘ so I walked to the bathroom washed my face and I went upstairs again but I left my towel.

WRONG CHOICE. ‘ WHO LEFT HIS TOWEL IN THE BATHROOM’ she shouted upstairs, l  was the only one upstairs. ‘o I did I’m so sorry I will come and get it’ ’NO YOUR 2 LATE I ALREADY PUT IN THE LAUNDRY BASKET.’ ‘okay’. ‘ BUT NEXT TIME YOU TAKE IT IMMEDIATELY’. And she was gone.

Then we went  to roots in the woods, some event in the city. It is for kids, so I said ‘is it okay that If I don’t like it I go home?’ , yes of course’.  On our way I almost fell of my cycle, she started laughing and said kinda angry ‘ IS IT SO DIFFICULT TO DRIVE?’ I didn’t react. I stared to drive again. ‘ YOU ARE DRIVING 2 SLOW’ she shouted so we start to drive faster. ‘NOT SO FAST’ so we drove slower ‘ YOU ARE GOING 2 SLOW’ and it stayed going like this the whole way. When we were finally there, she putted her cycle for mine. ‘ could you put your bike some were else? Cause if I want 2 leave earlier I cant get it.’ THEN YOU DON’T LEAVE EARLIER’ ‘but at home you said I could’  ‘yeah but I don’t want that anymore.’ ‘ but if I don’t like it ?’ ‘ SHUTUP’  Happy me it wasn’t that horrible as I imagined it 2 be. I stayed away from her and when we were at home I went upstairs immediately . tomorrow after school I finally go to my mom.

 

I love u Niall. You are so damn cute. You and the boys are my soldiers in these days.

Xx me.

diary message one.

Dear Niall,                                                      at my dads

 

Im getting totally crazy.  Their trying to be this perfect family I don’t really fit in this perfect family.. Today I woke up and I didn’t went downstairs before she leaves. Because when she is home and I’m leaving my room she goes to inspect it and just before she leaves she is like make your bed, clean the mirror, throw those old drawings away, clean your closet it is messy , make the baskets look tidy cause otherwise I have to do it Monday and o  yeah,  get  your DVD back on the good place.  GOODMORNING. So when she gets in her car and drove away i went downstairs to say good morning to my dad and my sister.  I love my dad, but he is also totally infected with the clean sickness. So I sat down to watch the voice  on the tablet, cause I missed it that night. He was like hey girl, get something to eat. I said I will eat after I watch the voice.  During the voice he came bring me some slice of bread and said you want this? And I declared him I wanted to eat after the voice he finally understand.  When I got a plate out to eat he said immediately  when you finish eating you had to clean the table, put the plate and your glass in the machine wash your hands clean your mount and put everything back on the good place. I was getting dizzy of all those cleaning this. But  then he finally left for grocery shopping. FREEDOM. So eat and cleaned everything he wanted me to.

Then I went upstairs to made my homework. When they came home from grocery shopping  my dad came up to see me. ‘so you are doing homework? What are you doing?’ ‘geography’  ‘aha, you better learn that really well and after this you have to clean your room’.  Will this ever stop? No it wont.

In de afternoon my dad had this tennis game, so I went down to watch friends. I was still wearing my jogging pants because I started make homework in the morning and I ended in the afternoon.  He comes home from his tennis game, first thing he said? ‘shouldn’t you wear something else? She is coming home soon.’  Why should I look like she wants me to? When she came home my dad said I HAVE  to say hello to her. When I walked in too the living room she looked down at my pants , I saw her looking and I said, yeah, I was having this pajamas  day and.. she looked my in the eye and said:  Yeah you have that very often don’t you? I almost never have those days because my mom only let me once a month have pajama day, and she don’t allow me to have pajama day. Mmm. She said.

So I went upstairs again. IS IT NEVER ENOUGH? No it isn’t. cause while I was writing these,  my sister came up en said, you have to come down for dinner  but you first have to clean your room. Who said that? She and daddy said my sister said en she leaves the room to go eat dinner.

I could seriously punch her in the face on that moment, but I stayed calm and eat my dinner.

 

I love u niall

Xx me

 

This was just today.

opening message

Hey,
im 14 years old
i dont have the easiest life.
my parents are divorced and i struggeld with some stuff i might tell you later about. I really love writing and one direction,
 the reason i wright this diary to niall horan,  so i mixed all my passions and my life story in 2 one and made this blog,
but if you wanted to understand my diary storys, you better read this first.

she or the bitch = my dads girlfriend.
she isnt the reason my parents broke up, i just dont like her.

in the storys where im at my mom he = my moms ( most of the time really nice) boyfriend.

if you got questions about something, contact me.

english isnt my orignal language so if i wright something wrong, please say it.

xx